What is it with insomnia? All I know is that it tends to run in my family - on the female side of the family. We could motor along all day, get bone tired, but as soon as we're prone in the bed, BAM, we're wide awake. I just don't get it. I had a quiet Friday night, hadn't been feeling too well, so I was looking forward to watching some bad TV - yes, I wanted to watch "17 Again" without my 15 year old making fun of my cougarish crush on Zac Efron (it's a car crash, what can I say?). I snuggled onto the couch with a comfy pillow and a cozy throw, cougared to my hearts content and felt good and sleepy by the end of the flick. I made my way up to my bedroom:
- Extremely comfy bed with crisp pink sheets and soft white coverlet - CHECK
- Neck pillow that looks weird, but keeps me from waking up with a crick in my neck - CHECK
- Icky new age music that is guaranteed to knock me out - CHECK
- Small furry cat that does the happy dance whenever he thinks I'm going up to bed now - CHECK
- Ceiling fan on to make lovely cool breeze over me - CHECK
- Two "simply sleep" caps to act as a sledgehammer to one's head - CHECK
Outcome? Two hours of tossing and turning that was so bad that the cat was swatting me to keep still. I gave up, went downstairs, tried to reenact the cozy couch snuggle - no good. I felt "dry". I got up, applied body oil to my entire body and tried again. No dice. Walked around the house and cried a little - all that did was make me feel stupid, so I found "Immortal Beloved" on ON Demand and watched that...I think Beethoven did the trick because, then, as the light began to peek between the blinds on my sunroom, I drifted off...only to be woken up by some religious zealot knocking on the door wanting to save me at 9:30AM. Swinging open the door, snarling and looking like the ugly Medusa sister - she reeled back, scattering fire and brimstone pamphlets all over my front porch and took off muttering what had to be some either sort of prayer or some sort of curse about why SHE was the one to get all the wackos..... I trudged off to inject caffeine (okay, make a pot of French Press) and try to get started on what is already a waste of a day. I know that come three o'clock in the afternoon I'll drop like a stone and repeat said incident minus Zac Efron and crazy religious zealot (or maybe she'll come back with reinforcements).... Insomnia....what a bitch.