From the Sublime to the Ridiculous

 

It's the end of the weekend. I'm sitting here, spent. I'm utterly exhausted.  Thursday, I picked up my sister and her partner at the airport - we stopped back at home to see my mother and my kids, then the three of us went out for sushi at this little place in Haddonfield. It was pretty good, but very expensive. 

Friday, we shopped, ran around and bought up groceries we needed for our party scheduled for Saturday. I ran errands while my sister began prepping for the party.  We barbequed burgers and dogs and sat under my new gazebo and just talked - I've really missed my sister and it was lovely catching up.  After dinner, my daughter decided to meet her friends at the high school to catch the fireworks.  We live across the street from the high school, so I strolled over with her then walked back to the yard - we were so lucky, we could sit in my backyard and watch the fireworks without having to fight the crowds. 

Saturday, was the big party day.  It was also my birthday.  We had a huge spread (pictures to come - I took them with my daughter's camera and I think she took the camera with her on vacation).  We had quite the spread - Thai chicken wings, carnitas, marinated skirt steak, tossed salad with red/green leaf lettuce, mesclun, red onions, grape tomatoes and queso fresca.  We had grilled tortillas, corn vidalia salad and watermelon and jicama salad.  Everything was fabulous.

The wine and the sangria flowed.  We made white sangria, with watermelon, strawberries and peaches.  It was a very eclectic crowd - my best friend and her husband, my sister's friends, my neighbors, golf partners and friends - everyone mixed quite well.  The night went on and on, we finished the night at 3 am after a couple of logs in the fire pit.  Folks slept over and we all woke up feeling pretty fuzzy.  The was the beginning of the ridiculous. 

The ridiculous became surreal pretty quickly.  I had to drop the kids at their dad's house by 10.  We jumped in my SUV and drove off.  I noted that my car was due for inspection - hmmm, I didn't recall getting my registration in the mail, I made a mental note to go to the DMV the next day.  I dropped them off and saw that I needed gas and due to the hangover, I was in dire need of a diet coke and a hamburger.  I pulled out onto the highway and headed off to McDonalds, grabbed my burger and returned to the highway.   I was driving the speed limit and a few minutes later flashing lights popped up into my rear view mirror.   I pulled over and when the cop approached me, I asked what was wrong - my registration had expired!  I reached over and dug out my registration, damn, if she wasn't right.  I next took out my insurance card....sinking feeling in my stomach.  It was the card that expired a  few months earlier. Shit. I had the clear memory at that moment of laying the insurance card on the table in the front hall. Two. Months. Before.

I'm sure you know where this is going. A second cop pulled up - a nasty, arrogant guy.  Told me to get out of the car, and leave my keys because they were going to tow it and impound it.  I asked if I could drive it over to the diner (about 20 yards up the road) and park it.  Nope, it's illegal to drive it without the proper paperwork. I said, leave it here on the road unlocked?  But what if it gets stolen?  It's on you, he replied. Are you going to leave me on the side of the road?  I could, he replied, you have to call someone to come pick you up because you can't walk along the highway.  I'll get the other cop to give you a ride to the WaWa convenience store.  I asked a couple of more questions and he started to give me real attitude about my needing to stop wasting his time.  I said back to him, hey man, I have never had a ticket before, I have no idea what to expect.  Well that's too bad, you know well enough that it's illegal to drive this car.  Ok, but can't you just manage my expectations here? 

Get OUT of the car.  Ok, Ok. I got out of the car and stepped up on the curb and began walking back to the first cop car.  He yelled at me "where are you going???" I replied that I didn't want to walk in the road and risk getting hit.  What a jerk.  Opened the back door of the cop car and wasn't the most gentle guy helping me in.  

The woman who was the first cop, took me 20 YARDS up the road to the diner and let me out.  She was almost apologetic for the idiot's behavior and let me know that if I brought the appropriate stuff to the police station tomorrow, and to court in a couple of weeks, I would have the charges reduced.  She said, look this stuff happens, you just have to take care of it - take it easy okay?  

I think women make for better cops. 

My eldest has Asperger's Syndrome. He is 17 years old and most of the time, he's a great kid. When the meds are off or he's nervous or anxious it can be hell. Matt struggles with adolescence. Emotionally, he knows he still feels like a 12 year old - there have been many times Matt has told me he still wishes he were 10 because things were a lot easier then. I often reply, "me, too", but mostly we just try to talk about how getting older can be a good thing. Hormonally, he's definitely 17, but bless his heart, he knows there is a pretty significant gap between what his body wants to do and what his emotional self can handle. Example - he has been friends with a girl at school since they were kids. This girl has started to reach out to Matt, a card here, a phone call there. Boy was that interesting - 2 1/2 hour conversation - I haven't had a 2 1/2 hour conversation with him in his whole LIFE - he is challenged in "expressive speech". I wonder if they want to take the relationship beyond platonic friends; I've asked him, and his response was, "Mom, it would be great, but I'm not ready - my head isn't old enough to date". I thought that was pretty mature for a kid that still won't watch anything beyond Cartoon Network.

Matt plays street hockey with the Special Olympics. Hockey and skiing are the two things that can get him outside and active. He loves it. Last weekend, he went with the team to play in a tournament at the Jersey Shore. He got to room with his buddies, hang out and watch movies, all the things that these kids don't always find easy to do. During that weekend, he showed such maturity - he called home to check in, called after his games to tell me how they did (they made the finals!). He called the next day to let me know they took the silver - and he was okay with not winning. When I picked him up on Sunday, he showed me the medals with such pride and we talked in the car about how some of the kids didn't deal well with the loss, and how proud he was that he doesn't do that anymore. That meant more to me than winning a gold medal.

Today, I received a note from one of the parents telling me how responsible and polite he was the entire weekend - that he really was a lovely young man. This is a kid who will probably need assistance his entire life - receiving something like this was just as pleasurable as hearing that he'd be valedictorian of his class. It makes me have hope that making the transition will be more positive that we thought possible.

Here's my young man at Hemingway's house in Key West:



I mentioned that I would update my previous entry with my daughter's dress for the dance - doesn't she look beautiful?: